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1.
I’ve been kind of sleeping underwater With cannon balls On an ocean floor of soothing pressure And whale bone walls This weighted blanket sends me to sleep This luminescence stars in the deep You all don’t know what you’re missing Above ground Pull back Sink beneath the water Hide and found There’s a kind of bliss when no one’s looking Or keeping track At the bottom of your inhibitions As you unpack This simple moment, tangle-free These expectations strangle me You all don’t know what you’re missing Above ground Pull back Sink beneath the water Hide and found This silent treatment sounds so sweet This decompression, slow release You all don’t know what you’re missing Above ground Pull back Sink beneath the water Hide and found
2.
My daydreams have shifted From snowfall to sun To drives that I’ve taken And places I’ve run To mountains that held me As long as I stood In their shadow For as long as I could I followed her right over a cliff You can call it a whim You could call it a riff On the path I expected Far beyond me And my life expectancy The people I’ve loved and The bridges I’ve burned It’s a fine line between them sometimes So it’s hard to discern But under the skies Full of stars I can’t see Till the sun sets And she sets them all free I followed her right over a cliff You can call it a whim You could call it a riff On the path I expected Far beyond me And my life expectancy (bridge) I’ll follow her right over a cliff You can call it a whim You could call it a riff On the path I expected Far beyond me And my life expectancy I’ll follow her right over a cliff You can call it a whim You could call it a riff On the path I expected Far beyond me And my life expectancy
3.
*explicit lyrics* You know I’m sick Of all the shit That you keep saying And I am sick Of all the games That you play Like this hurt Is a line That you can snort and be fine And you don’t Give a fuck What you pay You think you Can keep on pushing And we won’t want To push you back You think everyone else Is the problem And we should all Cut you some slack But this line’s Not a snort Of cocaine It’s the line Where you stop And get the fuck off the train Cuz the stories you tell They’re not worth the hell you create And it’s not your vampires That I want to eviscerate Don’t crawl back Into the shadows Stand right there In the light Cuz if you stay where Everyone can see you There’ll be no one left For you to bite Cuz we’re done With your snort of cocaine This is the part Where we stop And kick you off of this fucking train Cuz the stories you tell They’re not worth the hell you create And it’s not your vampires That we want to eviscerate Cuz a life Ain’t a snort Of cocaine This is the part Where you stop And get the fuck off this train Cuz the stories you tell They’re not worth the hell you create And it’s not your vampires That we want to eviscerate Eviscerate Eviscerate Eviscerate
4.
You know it’s funny That we should meet again Beneath a Scorpio Moon How are the mountains? I wish that I could tell you That I’ll find you there soon But there’s a distance To go before I travel In the usual way So in the meantime I wanted you to know I’m just a journey away She is our companion at the gate There she waits There in the shadows Where you and me make sense Of how the universe flows Pass through the mirror Of counter-intuition Where our consciousness goes To find the questions That needed to be asked Before we knew what they were These are the secrets Of why we understand When others feel so unsure She is our companion at the gate There she waits I hear the crows call A warning of a junction That we cannot perceive I watch the snow fly Sideways past the window Scraping bent tulip leaves I take a photo Of heavy heads of sunflowers In the bright April sun It’s like the fabric Of what weaves time and space together Can be undone She is our companion at the gate There she waits
5.
I know where were the dragons sleep And they know what I stole If the cave was any deeper It would be a rabbit hole No one tried to stop me 'Cause no one saw me go But I'm running for my life Because the dragons always know Like a heart it fluttered Like a coal it glowed By the time the boat had crunched its keel upon the sand I'd hit the road I could feel it flicker I could feel it shake But there were miles yet to go Before I wanted it to wake (I know where the dragons sleep) I ran down the valley slope And up the other side To the boundary of the forest Where the darkest secrets hide No one came to find me 'Cause no one knows the way And I'm running for my soul Against the waning of the day Then I saw the clearing Then I saw the pyre And the shadows that were forming Like a circle round the fire This was now the moment This the firebrand There was just enough to watch it burn To cinders in my hands This was now the moment This the firebrand There was just enough to watch it burn To cinders in my hands (This the fire, this the firebrand) I know how the phoenix dies And she knows more than this How she gathers up her ashes To arise and find her bliss No one knows her history No one knows her name We may all be burning But we gather all the same (In her flame) (I know where the dragons sleep) Just enough to watch it burn Just enough to watch it burn Just enough to watch it burn To cinders in my hands There was just enough to watch it burn There was just enough to watch it burn There was just enough to watch it burn To cinders in my hands This was now the moment This the firebrand There was just enough to watch it burn To cinders in my hands (This the fire, this the firebrand)

about

All songs written, recorded and produced in collaboration during FAWM 2021. This is the kind of magic that happens when FAWMers create together. It's a mixtape of styles and sounds in demo form, from studios in Wisconsin, Michigan, New Mexico, Ontario, and Norway.

There's a trance-like story about stealing dragon-fire for the phoenix, and an underwater pop song about the joy of retreating from the world while you heal. There's a pagan rock tribute to friendship, and an acoustic reflection on queer life. And there's me swearing at the top of my lungs in Joss Whedon's face, hard rock-style.

Like any good mixtape I've chosen the order carefully, but feel free to mix it up, pick and choose the songs you really want to download, and listen to the ones you love on repeat. I love them all, which is why I asked my friends if I could share them with you. We're damn proud of what we accomplished this FAWM. Hope you enjoy them. Thanks for listening!

credits

released March 5, 2021

Album art by Leslie Hudson

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Leslie Hudson Stratford, Ontario

Leslie Hudson is a Canadian singer songwriter and pianist. Her albums range from storytelling styles to bluesy bar rock to dialed-up, full-band homages to pop culture. With lyrical piano skills and a voice that cuts through the crowd, her songs dive deep into archetype and folklore, modernizing ancient voices as she shines a spotlight on the shadowy paths we walk through life, myth and media. ... more

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